It is not good, It is not bad. We don't know the whole story.

I find that now that I have lost almost 35 lbs and counting, feelings abound about everything and about nothing.  My mind will go non-stop making things up about what he said, she said and what it all means.  Since I don't have food to squelch those feelings and to numb me,  I have had to find an alternative.  I've started reading all those books that are sitting on my shelves.  I have learned some amazing things ie: (this story from last night, I will paraphrase)  Basically this farmer loses his horse and the villagers say to him "OMG what a terrible thing to have happened" He says "it's not good, it's not bad. we don't know the whole story ". Then the horse comes back with 20 others horses and the villagers say to him "What good fortune for you" The farmers says "It's not good, it's not bad, we don't know the whole story ".  Then the farmer's son breaks his leg trying to train all those horses and the villagers say " OMG what misfortune" and the farmer says "It's not good, it's not bad.  We don't know the whole story .  Then there is a war and all villagers' sons are called off to war except the farmer's son whose legs are broken and the villagers say "What good fortune you will not lose your son to the war".  The farmer says " it is not good, it is not bad. we don't know the whole story ".  So there you have it, feeling aren't facts and it can always be other than you think it is.  I don't think I am any more sensitive than other people I think I have just been numb for so long that my feeling are catching up with me.  It's like a backdraft.  It has been held behind an iron door of food for so long that when you open up that door it knocks you over.  In that instant not turning to the food and letting those feeling just be is a challenge.  Turning to the food is not an option anymore.  Food is fuel for your body.  Emotions and feeling are the air that your spiritual self needs to breathe.  Growth is neither painful nor pleasant. We just don't know the whole story.